Why You Need Writing Friends
When this newsletter goes out, I’ll be on a plane to Los Angeles, off to meet a writing friend I’ve never met in person.
Lauren and I have texted, talked on the phone FaceTimed, traded manuscripts.
She demanded I send her my book, Strings Attached, and then made me FaceTime her while she went through the entire thing, telling me what to fix before I sent it to the agent who would eventually become my agent.
I read her just announced book when I was on vacation in the Dominican last summer, eagerly texting her to send me the next chapter as she wrote it, while I lounged on a daybed with my Aperol spritz.
proof of Tropesick
When Lauren slid into my inbox over two years ago, I had no idea that one day I’d be flying across the country to celebrate her book release, yet here we are.
The beginning of a never-ending story (aka a nonstop text stream that only stops for about 3 hours a day due to timezone differences)
But that’s not the only friendship publishing has brought me.
One of my other good writing friends is actually dating my brother (this isn’t a joke, and maybe is a story for another time).
I have two other writing group chats I check in with every day (🔮 🚂).
I have an in-person writing group that keeps me on my toes and challenges me to do my best work.
I have friends I beta-read for, people I banter with on different social media platforms, and people in my day-to-day life who listen to me when I talk about characters, plot lines, plot holes, and rising and falling action.
In short, I have a lot of support, and I feel very lucky for it.
Because writing and trying to get traditionally published can be a lonely place. There’s a lot of rejection. There’s a lot of being told “thanks, but no thanks.” There’s a lot of being told “this is good, but I can’t market this,” or “this writing is amazing, but romance isn’t selling right now,” or “the voice is amazing, but I can’t get my team on board.”
You simply must have people you can vent with and turn to when times are tough, because there are a lot of tough times in this industry.
And, they don’t stop once you get agented or sell a book or even publish a book. There’s always going to be rejection and bad reviews and disappointments, no matter how far you get (especially if you make it big—check out Emily Henry’s 1-star reviews on Goodreads).
You need people around you to celebrate your successes, too. I can’t tell you the rush it is to celebrate a friend signing with an agent or getting the email that an editor wants a call or that a cover design from their publisher has landed in their inbox.
And that’s why I’m on a plane to Los Angeles right now.
Books I’ve Been Obsessing Over Lately
Hemlock by Melissa Faliveno: When Sam heads back to the Northwoods to fix up her family’s cabin, she doesn’t expect to be swallowed up by the ghosts of her past, or the shadows of her future. She’s questioning her relationship her partner, her queerness, and her father, all of which follow her Up North.
She’s a recovering alcoholic, but the farther she gets into the woods, the more it becomes clear that Wisconsin has its claws in her deeper than she ever realized, and some legacies, you just can’t outrun.
Hemlock was exactly the book I’d been looking for. It nails that balance between the beauty of the Northwoods and the menace that hums underneath it: the way nostalgia can sit side by side with dread. Faliveno’s details were perfect: Old Fashioneds and fish frys, the cadence of small-town speech, even the uncomfortable realization that Wisconsin’s drinking culture isn’t “normal”, like how you can legally drink in bars as a kid as long as your parents are there.
The prose is gorgeous, haunting but unpretentious, and the whole time you’re never quite sure if what Sam is experiencing is supernatural or just the manifestation of her addiction. The whole time, you’re trapped right there with her in the claustrophobia of a tiny cabin and a tiny town. The characters felt achingly familiar, like people I’ve known my whole life.
At its heart, this book asks: Can you ever really get free of what you left behind, or does it always find its way back to you?
Hemlock is out on January 20th, and a big thanks to Little, Brown for an advance copy of this book in exchange for an honest review.
Seduction Theory: Every once in a while, you open a book and instantly know: this one’s going to be a favorite.
Seduction Theory was one of those books (plus—that cover!).
At Edwards University, Simone is the department star: celebrated Woolf scholar, grief memoirist, and reluctant campus sex symbol. Her husband, Ethan, meanwhile, is a faded novelist turned lecturer, and is mostly remembered for being Simone’s plus-one. But when Ethan sleeps with the department’s admin assistant, cracks start to form in the marriage everyone thought was untouchable.
Simone isn’t exactly innocent, though. While Ethan is away for the summer, she grows dangerously close to her grad student advisee, Robbie. She’s her running partner, confidante, and, as it turns out, secret biographer. Because behind Simone’s back, Robbie is writing her thesis as a razor-sharp fictionalization of Simone and Ethan’s marriage, and pulling apart the threads of their lives and exposing secrets they’d rather keep buried.
What unfolds is an academic high-wire act of sex, betrayal, mentorship, and power dynamics. If you’ve ever worked in anything academia adjacent, you’ll recognize so many aspects of this book.
Addictive, raw, and darkly funny, this is campus satire at its very best.
The Girls of Summer: When Rachel spends a summer traveling with her best friend, she has no idea how much it will upend her life. On a tiny Greek island, she meets Alistair, an older, magnetic man who pulls her into a world she never knew existed. Falling for him and for the island changes everything. But as the summer winds down, cracks start to show, and some of the other girls realize the island isn’t as idyllic as it looks.
After a brutal death, Rachel flees back to London, determined to forget. She builds a normal life—steady job, marriage, routine—but she’s never quite free of Alistair or the island. When women from that summer reappear, Rachel is forced to face what really happened, no matter how much it unravels.
What I loved most about Bishop’s writing is the way longing for place threads through the story: that idea that your memory of somewhere can be shiny and fixed, but when you go back, the place itself has shifted. Definitely check for trigger warnings, but I was completely pulled into Rachel’s orbit, the way both the island and Alistair haunted every part of her.
Fast Five with Lauren Okie
It’s time for the Fast Five with Lauren Okie, whose debut book, The Best Worst Thing, comes out TOMORROW(!!!!!!!!!)
Meet Lauren Okie!
I'm Lauren! I'm a mom in her thirties who's chronically online and obsessed with big feelings.
My debut, THE BEST WORST THING, is a modern love story about an infertility podcaster who, mere hours after a Hail Mary embryo transfer to her surrogate, discovers her husband is having an affair.
She winds up drunk on the doorstep of a former colleague she never could quite forget. Just when things are really heating up, she finds out her surrogate got pregnant.
It's a giant mess, and extremely sexy, too.
It comes out Tuesday, Oct 14 (Avon/HarperCollins) and should have some decent bookstore placement, so go hunt for it!
Or request it from your favorite indie or order it wherever else you buy books! Lots of info, including where to get signed books, is on my website: www.laurenokie.com
Socials:
Pantser or plotter?
Panster for the first 50 pages, then I'll plot in broad strokes (just, like, beats, etc. and usually only like a few chapters at a time), but honestly, I do a lot of vibing.
Big believer in making shit up and letting your characters play.
Drafting or editing?
EDITING MY GOD I LOVE TO REVISE IT'S AN ILLNESS.
Revising to me is like . . . you have so much precision and knowledge and control. It's when you really become a director.
What's the best book you read in the past year?
Sorry, I'm going to be a basic woman in her thirties here, but THE WEDDING PEOPLE is a masterpiece.
Which of your characters do you identify with the most?
I think there's a piece of me in all of them. I think that's the best part about writing: you find all these other sides to yourself in the strangers you create.
Re: TBWT, I'm a hybrid Logan-Nicole, with a Nero-the-dog rising.
What advice would you give to a new writer?
Write the book of your heart! We don't need another [INSERT FAMOUS AUTHOR HERE.] Focus on telling a story only you can tell as well as you possibly can.
When you think it's perfect, make it better.
Read craft books. Read good books. Read bad books. Fall in love with making shit up. Romanticize your process. Write for yourself.
And, more than anything, do not stress about the odds of success. It won't make your work better. Only you can do that!
If you’re an author interested in being featured in the Fast Five, shoot me an email!
